Oy

I guess no matter what it takes, doesn't matter when fate is against you.

God, It fucking sucks. Sometimes I feel like the biggest loser... and not in weight. Right now I fee like I am in a whirlwind of crap, where things just will not work.

I don't think I've written much here since we started KCMETROPOLIS.org

The other blog, which is all about smiles and rainbows and causes has had more of a chance in the past seven months to be a focus and a positive conduit of how things are supposed to work. This could be edited.

To say I am all a jumble would be accurate right now.
Today we found out that the IRS just pulled a fakie. I can barely write right now...for you who are experiencing this, I'm going to put my emotional text as blue, so you may have a better chance of following what I am talking about.

Maybe I'll just keep writing...

Both hemispheres of my brain are clicking right now. The tops, mostly the left shere is all tingly. I'm so afraid that I am learning the wrong lesson right now, that the grooves are being etched in the wrong direction.

Just keep staring at the light.

You know, I wish this were some great piece of writing, and that this completely crazy writing were all by design, but I'm just not capable right now.

Fuck, I am so fucking upset right now.

I should have been blogging here all along so you'd know the daily struggle it has been to put KCM together and keep my career together. Now, I have to start at the top and hope that I have enough clarity and time to tell you all that happened.

Breather...

By the way
Thank you Animal Collective. I'm listening to their new album Merriweather Post Pavillion, which is helping a lot to keep me from crying. How's that for a review?

Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country...or whatever

Seven months ago, my friend Marcy Chiasson and I embarked upon a new partnership to try and save the performing arts community in Kansas Cty. A burgeoning city with a great performing arts scene and cowboy attitude to go along with it, we had just lost our critic and imprompteur on the performing arts at the Star, Paul Hosely, laid off, position not being replaced.

Indeed, aside from all the peripheral regs, The JC Sun, KC Stage, The Pitch and uhh, that's about it...Paul was the dude who was the most widely read, widely sought after and widely respected as a journalist and a critic.

His work was herculean, covering three events a day sometimes. This is not to say others were absent, but his was the ubiquitous old world post, the critic you read. With so many events, he could not possibly cover all the goings on here in the city, but at least he was able to get the big stuff as well as a good smattering of the independant purveyors of performing arts.

OK, must pause. Animal Collective doesn't go with this anymore. I guess If you are at your wits end and you need solace, They are a go to group... Switching to Panda Bear.

nope.... Come on Nina

Ok.

Nina Simone

So, Marcy and I, knowing what would happen, there goes the audience.

But the thing was, I had been doing...as the title of this blog says... It All. I had an agenda. Getting out of the Admin back-office of the music biz and just being an artist.

That's it.

Sure, doing lot's of producing and what not, but only in context of me singing. I spent five years learning the ropes of how to be an admin, Artistic Director, General Director, President, Janitor... because I thought I had made it as a singer and that I could use my record contract as a bolster while I pursued stuff I will be relegated to, when I may not be able to sing, or when I retire.

But there can be only one.

Either you spend all of your time doing one thing, or you spend all of your time doing another thing. If you try to do both, you lose.

It is very easy to tell in business that you need to put more time in. As an artist, there are all sorts of other factors. There's inspitarion for one thing. But just because you don't spend your time being inspired to write or create, even to learn your parts and interpret and translate, there's always updating your bio, getting new headshots, networking, researching for those specific projects.

SO I was transitioning away from the shotgun career back to the specific...The fact that I can make this choice is amazing and I am humbled that I have support to be able to be a singular person, once again.

But the KCMETROPOLIS.org was the last project before sequestering myself back in front of the piano.

The singular determination Marcy and I had to make this organization run is remarkable, only that it's what one is supposed to do to make it work.

Here's where the suck part of it happens and... at that I am going to leave for part two.

I feel much better though. Like a normal human being again...though one with a huge problem on his hands.

Thanks for reading, Kids.

Machine perfect

Roasting Plant Coffee Company

81 Orchard St, New York, NY 10002

Reviewed by Matt 'Dirty Shame' G.

Shout out to the bangers and the hoes who hang at the plant. This place smells like coffee and has light wood fixtures all over, making for a light airy feeling in the spacious confines.

The stupid machine makes non-folger-like coffee, much to my chagrin, as I like to drink water that has the consistency of a depression era cafeteria toilet. I used my credit card which allowed me to be charged less for a "regular" cup of joe.

The clerk told me not to order the wheatgrass, which I did. It tasted like peas meshed with moldy corn.

And the smoothies, when I came back, as I had the $&@@ tasting yerba blueberry poi smoothie (which I was leery of as I've HAD poi) was rank amateur... At best.

If I had liked any of these things I probably would have at least four and half starred, so tough sh#t you philistines.

Bookmark Compliment Send Message

new company

In light of DO-ing it all, here's the new company arts marketer Marcy Chiasson and I started in Kansas City.

Kansas City's new online journal of the performing arts, offering definitive columns, reviews, previews, videos pertaining to KC and the surrounding region.

It's been months in the making and we are being presented by www.PresentMagazine.com until we get our own cool site built.
Thanks to them, not only for their generosity, but also for their coverage of culture and lifestyle in KC.

We are doiing it all!!

We even have a board!!!

A little thing!

For Immediate Release
ArtsKC Fund Announces New Inspiration Grants
Kansas City, Mo. (August 27, 2008) — The Arts Council of Metropolitan Kansas City Board of Directors approved $10,500 in new ArtsKC Fund Inspiration Award funding today for nine projects by local artists. Grants in the Inspiration category support projects that will have significant impact on an artists’ career, cultivate creativity and contribute to the artistic vibrancy of Kansas City.

This is the second of three rounds of Inspiration awards for the 2008 grant cycle. In the first round last spring, 10 proposals were funded for a total of $12,674.
“This round of Inspiration awards is helping to fund a number of unique arts projects and interesting collaborations. The breadth of disciplines covered by these awards really reflects the diversity of talent among artists in Kansas City,” says ArtsKC Fund Grants Director, Paul Tyler.
Second Round of Inspiration Grants, 2008:

Ahmed Alaadeen: $1,000
Jazz saxophonist and Kansas City legend Ahmed Alaadeen will develop and publish a jazz methods manual targeted to jazz students of all academic backgrounds. It will allow them to learn from Alaadeen’s 50+ years of jazz performance and will be supplemented by rich details on Kansas City’s jazz heritage.

Beau Bledsoe, Nathan Granner, and Mike Hill: $1,000
Guitarist Beau Bledsoe, singer Nathan Granner, and visual artist Mike Hill are teaming up to produce a presentation of the songs of Franz Schubert accompanied by a commissioned video work. While they have toured “Schubertiad” before, Inspiration funding will help enhance the program with a video work from Hill and projection equipment for touring.

Julia Denesha: $1,000
Photographer Julia Denesha will install a photography exhibit of 45 framed prints documenting her images and portraits of Slovakian ‘Roma’ or gypsies that were created over several years that she spent living with families throughout Eastern Europe. The images capture their stories and struggles through the lens of her camera. Inspiration funding will partially fund the printing and framing of the prints.

Lisa Marie Evans: $2,000
Filmmaker Lisa Marie Evans has created the documentary, “The Same But Different,” which explores the life roles of four transgender persons in the Midwest including: a fundamentalist Christian anarchist, a Catholic Republican, your average single guy; and a comedian and parent of two. Although the film has already premiered at Kansas City film festivals, funding is needed to support post-production costs and efforts to successfully complete and distribute the film.
GEAR (Mark Schweiger), Hector Casanova, Lori Raye Erickson and others: $1,000
Visual artist GEAR is organizing a pair of group shows in September and October at the Leedy-Voulkos Art Center that will explore underground art such as graffiti, comics and tattooing. The show will have two components: a commissioned exhibit of eight local ‘lowbrow’ artists’ paintings, and mixed media work and live mural painting from the eight artists. Inspiration funding will support the supplies necessary for the live portion of the exhibition.

Tex Jernigan: $1,000
Visual artist Tex Jernigan is creating a new interactive sculpture/installation project that he will take on tour throughout the Midwest and East coast. He will build a 50’x 5’ oval-shaped pool and take portraits of patrons in the pool, using its reflective properties to display the sky and clouds above. Although he has tested this approach with a small prototype, this grant will help fund the materials to construct the full pool which will be suitable for touring.

Ascot J. Smith: $500
Filmmaker and visual artist Ascot Smith has created the short science-fiction film, “The Last Man of Idaho,” as the story of a daydreaming struggling artist who finds a talking potato that provides guidance in life. The film is completely comprised of digital photographic stills. While the film is complete, funding will be used for post-production expenses, including audio editing.

Mark Southerland & Jeff Harshbarger: $1,000
Jazz musicians Mark Southerland and Jeff Harshbarger are organizing a concert series for the public featuring a core group of musicians who are highly invested in “deep improv.” The concerts are planned to take place on the rooftop terrace of the Kansas City Library central location in downtown Kansas City.

Heidi Stubblefield: $2,000
Arts educator, actress and director Heidi Stubblefield wrote and produced “The Coppelia Project: A Clown Ballet in Three Acts,” a nonverbal movement piece that debuted at the Kansas City Fringe Festival in July 2008. The show was developed to be a touring production, and Inspiration funding will assist in building a portable set and creating an enhanced sound design commensurate with current professional touring standards.
Letters of inquiry from artists interested in applying for the third and final round of 2008 grants are due November 14, 2008. Visit http://www.artskc.org/ for more details.

About the ArtsKC Fund
The ArtsKC Fund is a united arts fund in the metropolitan Kansas City area that raises new money to support a wide range of arts organizations and programs. Its purpose is to provide stable sources of new financial support for the arts, broaden access to high-quality arts experiences, and sustain excellence in the arts and arts administration. The ArtsKC Fund is an initiative of the Arts Council of Metropolitan Kansas City, a not-for-profit organization that serves the five-county Kansas City metropolitan area, and strives to strengthen and enrich the community by growing appreciation, participation and support of its arts resources. For more information about the ArtsKC Fund, visit http://www.artskc.org/.
###

There is no Win in today

At the risk of sounding maudlin in the title, I'm here to tell you I'm not feeling that way...AT ALL.
AT ALL.

For years I have been searching for something to call today's Classical Music.
It's odd, but I'm not sure I can self describe, self-prescribe a nominative for a culture that prides itself on the heavy weight of History.

I don' e'n know if I can comment on it anymore. Eevn commenting on it, I think seems to diminish the actual presence that we need to have in classical music.

Classical music, is alive and well. It is not dead, nor will it ever be dead.

Either that, or I may be looking well, let me strike that last comment.

classical music is dead...As we have known it to be.

The forms still exist and the black noted on white pages still exist and the sounds still exist, but when you look at it as a commentary on today, classical music as a panacea, I think it may not have the quality it once had.

The quality of


I'm better than you.

With all of the music out there all jumbled into trillions of gigs of information, I think we miss the point of where we are. Today.

Today, sounds co-mingle like DNA understood to be vast and diverse yet only understood as parts, Parts that have specific meaning and yet have everything and nothing to do with any of the other parts. Some sections are telling atoms or moleculkes, or whatever to make SKIN, other parts of the code mean that cells combine. Simply combine. It's part of SKIN, but it's also part of HEART.

Sure it all means something. But it's part of the collection, myriads of commands, shoveling itself into something as tiny as we are, in comparison to say, our solar system. Whatever, just mad lib your smallest known object, or largest thing you personally know and juxtapose it to the opposite.

And so is our string of knowledge these days. It's not just in relation to the organized structures of sound we know as music, but of visual manifestations, of intellectual thought, of pieces of info we feel and see and have experienced in our new age of information.

Tomorrow, today, yesterday, we are all putting this together to make something of ourselves.

Problem is, that we are...interrupted by a phone call.

Think about it though.

Throughout history we have been told that this one person is/was better than some other, and not to say that wasn't right, but you and I both know there are huge discrepancies with what hype IS and what truths are out there.

And now, right now, like with the introduction of the printing press, we have the opportunity to listen to what was the hype and find truth in that, or compare it with another thing. a shelved item, a shunned idea, an idea waiting to be manifest. How exciting.

And in this discovery, is a monotonous song. Where is all basically sounds the same. Or, all the parts sound basically the same.

The funny thing is. Well, when you actually compare the things that sound the same, if say you are looking at a DNA strand, one thing makes a millipede and another makes a man.


Mothertongue - Rhapsody Link

Rhapsody player and link to Paul Weller

Paul Weller's new album is worth about seven listens. Great for working on budgets!

It's at parts trippy and other parts singer/songwriter. Sketches and world music instruments soar along with personal lyrics of self delusion and fantasy and spirit. Even if you don't get it...which I don't fully yet, it sounds so good, by the time I move on to the next best thing, I just may get it.

It's on Rhapsody and if you don't have the service, I'd suggest you get with the program. If you have an mp3 player, other than an ipod, you get as many songs you want for 15 bucks a month. Otherwise for about 10 bucks a month you can listen to any song they have in their library (of six million) any time you want.

It's such a better deal than the old Columbia recording house program. It's legal and can listen to the songs we fancy and share them with our friends.

Back to budgets!!! Love ya.

dayumm

http://vimeo.com/1166968

These things I do became a dream, ages ago.
And that I am living, these tendrils of hopes breathe till tomorrow
when I will pass into seeming nothingness.

Having whispered my desire to whom,
at this time, seems my confidant, patient listener and willing ally,
my dear lover, Life,
I can see, this amicable, congenial partner will soon enough turn her ear.

She has done this to our vacuous speciae, and brainless intelligent bacteria, and will complete this cycle infinitely.

All I can do is enter these dreams, as sound, thought, light, dark, whatever it may take...
To last one more day...
In any conceivable way.

Fucking Psychedelic Rock from the 60's

Fuck this music.

I cannot tell you how much it pisses me off. I mean there's Syd Barrett and One has to listen to his stuff...ala Piper at the end of the Gates, or whatever something like six times in order to get it.

Hey!
I'm not averse to working it out. And you know, I really get something out of it. But Screw your fricking wannabee psych bands. If you want to be Syd Barrett, remember, the dude is dead.

I'm not saying this is how any one of these folks will end up, I'm just saying that the music comes from a different place than your normal garage, hey, let's do this this way.

Look up the Bonzo Dog Band in rhapsody, if you can find it...for something NOT TO LISTEN TO.

I'd rather Cold Play than them. !@#$ Oh and the Singer of Wooden Shjips can suck my ass.

BkTW (back to Work)

Killer Months.

As if it hasn't been hectic enough as it is.

This next month is going to be balls out.

But this is the life. This is pavement and road and grass and streams of ropy whiz. This is a fractal cloud breaking over the night horizon.

I take heart from the Obama Campaign. He says he's going to take a break in August sometime...so a couple of days off in February, a few days off in June and a week in august, every day hitting the wall. Drawing from the well. No energy left for the tears, just dragging on during the dog days in the heart of the midwest unrelenting oppressive pig infused haze heat and the south's pounding dog breath and the west's searing sole, soul melting glaze...

In for coachings on some new rep in the morning, then power lunch, then more outstanding research and newer research, freshly hatched, then cleaning up and combining years of technical writing and putting it all together in a nice artful, tasty and more importantly, Fucking Readable package.

So would I rather be just a singer? Hah.

My life has brought me here, to this stage through all of the tiny molecular decisions I have made during the past decade.

Where is the magic pen?

I am pouring over the complete idiot's guide to grant writing.

See after three years of runing The Super Group, LLC, with all of its small successes and failures along the way...I guess I lost sight of the fact that I am, no matter what project comes up, creating art.

I am creating art to sell, yes. But I am creating art.

Some people have said I am too smart for my own good. I tend to vehemently disagree. I don't think I'm smart enough.

As a singer, I'm not sure I understand what is meant by being too smart. I know it's an euphemism, but I don't know how to calibrate that thought and turn it into a positive. I think more than anything, I am too lazy for my own good...which is why I completely overcompensate on the opposite end.

I went to a singing event the other night. Sarah Smith gets up and sings, like, you know, how people who like to sing, but don't have the complete connection to the voice that's needed to really convey emotion. Then I get up and just rock the house. It's embarrassing, really, because I know many of them have thought at some point, what are you doing here?

Aren't you supposed to be singing opera at the Met?

It's like being a seven foot tall Andre the Giant, you know? I mean... i'm a regular joe until I open my big palooka mouth and start to sing. THEN people are like, OMFG! Who are U?!

That's more an aside than anything, but maybe it's informative in some way.

The point is, The things I do, may be for popular consumption, or create, but they come about in a different manner than just here it is.

The process doesn't work normally. My process anyway. I am like Billy, the kid in Family Circus.
Wending his way from here to there just to go five feet. Billy and I basically try everything and get allowably distracted by things that may seem comepletely disparate, but in the end...and nobody ever acknowledges this, Billy and I have a lot more perspective on all the stuff between here and the spot toward which we were headed.

It's a great book...and I will finish it soon.

Rock
N

Wind Farm

On a side note...

I've been thinking utterly seriously about getting into Wind turbine manufacturing. I don't know anything about it, but as it's going to be a multi billion dollar industry, why not get into the workforce now?

Do IT ALL!!! Yeah. Monday tomorrow?

Wow. G'night.

Red Handed Gypsy

I guess this is the name of my new band.

This girl that rents a property from Marco is this gypsy chick who has no concept of property. While I DO intrinsically understand that concept, for instance, Aborigines and their concept of how can anyone OWN the earth, and the Canadians calling their native peoples, 'First People' and, of course us with, uh, Native Americans... Yeah, I get that and really, especially the Aborigine philo.

But, Sheeeiiit, come on little Euro girl, whose forefathers either bought millions of acres of land for beads, or just commited genocide to get the land, Nemmen mir ein BREAK.

SO, this gal, went into our Drummer, Sam (by the way, Marco is guitar man)'s new house as he was moving out of his house to get away from his ex girlfriend. Sam is a guy who will do anything for you. He works hard, he is talented and lives life, within reason, to the limit.

But a person gets tired, and that's what he was. His only groceries, his only food after a grueling day and days of carrying loading driving etc. Gone.

He bought them in the morning and at the end of the day, comes home and he thinks he is freaking out because there's no food in the house.

Everything else is still there, but the food is gone. After a few minutes of figuring out that indeed, the food is gone, he goes outside to go to a store to get more food. A young lady accross the street comes over and asks if he lives in the houes and when he says yes, she tells him that the gal that lives above her, broke into his house and took his food.

Sam isn't a guy who gets upset, really. he does have some quirks...like being too nice... and this was no exception, he was just struck dumb.

He started to feel badly for the gal because it seemed she needed food, but when he told Marco about the strange occurrence, Marco informed him that the gal steals stuff and is in arrears with him and all of the utilities...etc. Even, as she was kind of moving out, stole their bike and excused herself the audacity by saying it was just sitting there...

So Marco wanted to call her Red Handed Gypsy B#%$^ and then we were like, hey How about Red Handed Gypsy for the name of our BAND?

I think we are still in the testing stages of the name, but it seems as good as any (even though Brian, Bass Gutar, has a newer band with Red in it too).

At least we are not a 'dinosaur' band. Which is a reference to a time in the early 1990's where a number of really prominent bands had Dinosaur in their names.

So We, Red Handed Gypsy have our first gig on August 8 in a benefit for an unfortunate musician who has no insurance. Davey's Uptown Ramblers Club in KC.

I was kvetching last week because we were almost at show time and we didn't have our songs close to being completed. But last Tuesday, we got it together and pounded out and synched it up, even adding a digital guy, Justin, who, at this point sounds like he's coming back.

So we are a five piece. Can you believe it?

Right now we have

• Neon Sunset - a piece with lyrics by poet Richard Keith


• Diversion -


• Sweet Home Chicago - A complete destruction of the Chicago blues piece turned into a seedy road rage journey to the south side


• Mangia Me - An Italian Love song that sounds like a cross between Beck and Andrea Bocelli getting shot with a shotgun


• We Call You Lief - an British Heavy Metal inspired Gallop


• I Survived the Spill - from a series of poems and songs called If's Bound to Happen...also from which Lief comes to us.

There are a few other songs that we are still honing in on... 'Dear Robert, for Melanie' Eviline Sitting, Schrutte but for this benefit, I think the aforementioned will be enough.

I cannot tell you how insanely happy to be finally, at last, in a BAND I am. My friends Scott Stackhouse and I started a band a long time ago, but it just wasn't meant to be. Midnight Furry was the working title for me...though House would probably think differently...

We rehearsed that band in the guitarist's house and then moved to a little barn on some guys property. Our bass player would never show up and as we tried to get a lead guitarist, we just atrophied.

I was also starting to really get interested in Opera and as we were all in junior college, I was aiming at increasing my abysmal GP

A and getting to Oberlin College, or Indiana, or Iowa, or even UMKC Conservatory.

So life goes out of its way to shove your dreams aside...

unless. you.. decide

...

to do it all!

Lasers...



So. FFW a couple of years later and here we are. I Yada Yada'd a whole lot there, but hey.

I was just emelling (telling a friend in an email) a friend that one of the things I like most about these boys is that they are truly glass half full persons. I think it's one of the things America has going for it. It's the optimism.

I think it's a pathological thing really...

Think about it.

Look at all of the advertisements. It's all about improving people's lives. Name me one product one has sold that actually makes things worse for people. Oppenheimer did not set out to make the doomsday device. Even the devil himself, when he met up with Robert Johnson wanted to give him the ability to play better. OK, so there's Faustus and he's CERTAINLY NOT American, but it's still a trait we strive to achieve here.

Drilling in the ANWAR... What kind of daffy headed people do we have to be to believe that there is an enviromentally SAFE way to screw up the environment? But the people who want to protect it are all like, Hey! Why do you have to be such a worry wart about it, let's "drill, Drill, DRILLL! " Actual quote from Fox News.

You tell me... I mean, it's all speculation. It's all gambling, this drilling business. So let me point it out to you in a way a gambler could understand.

If you have a whole floor of slot machines and you are a million bucks ahead in winnings for the night...the machines all have say a 10000:1 ratio for you to win another million bucks,. But the problem is, you have another four floors of slots above you, also with that ratio. However, those four floors are smoke free and you, in order to play the slots, MUST smoke. You rigged up a new fangled device that filters all of your smoke and keeps it in a two foot radius around you, so you could feasibly go upstairs and get more chances to win, win bigger and win longer.... Yet, there are people and living creatures up there that cannot breathe the smoke. They will either get sick and pass along their sickness to their offspring, or they will die outright. either way, even with survivors, there would be devastation.

Well, many people are saying, GO UPSTARS!!! you got the tech!

But what if the machine breaks? What if it doesn't break, but just wears out? What if a filter goes bad?

Oh, and another thing, say there was a new money, that helped everybody out. and you didn't really even need to play the slot machines. You could take that million dollars and make something that helps those people on the top floors, would make you unbelievably rich and would make slot machines all but obsolete...

You could play those slots on the lower level, walk away with gobs more cash and then turn that into something that will last beyond the forseeable future, keeping you in power for eons.

A roundabout way of saying, lets go for the altenative and use what we have. Use what we have and go for the gusto, really deploying our brains and energy to create renewable sources of energy instead of sucking the lifeblood of our land dry.

I'm not a pessimist. I am optimistic that we can work together to use what we have, and also create something new, vibrant and reflective of a way we ought to live. Guarding and protecting our earth and its denizens...including us.

My band are just those optimists. We will forever fight to succeed. We will forever strive to strike it rich...but in a way that brings something better to our world.

....

Today

Ok.

I wrote the couple I was talking about...yesterday? Was it yesterday? Great couple, but I was like, look this is how much I am.


I have instituted another policy about new music. If they commission music for the wedding, it's significantly cheaper. Imagine doing something cool is cheaper!!!



I also created a website today. My penchant for blatant self promotion is flying haywire right now because I can't tell you. If you get on Facebook and look up my profile, you'll be able to find it, but it is only a first in a larger order construct. The Super Group, LLC at work again.


Let's just say, everybody in KC is complaining about it. Some people are complaining in a way that is constructive to the community and others are sadly, well you know. We are all crazy so what's the diff.


I'm proud to say that the majority of my people are doing a great job in utilizing their competence and their restraint in our situation.


I also started dabbling in adwords. I think it's more fun than slot machines, though it bobcattingly is a heckofalot slooower.


I'm alo listening to Tin Machine right now... the first album I bought at full price. No columbia record club or whatever on that one.


Wow. I had no idea. "Shopping for Girls"... this truly Was a Super Group.


Later.
NG

OK, here goes.
For all of you professional performers out there who get asked to play in your hometown...
Yikes. It's such a problem and a dilemma.

I have people come up to me all the time, asking if I'll perform in their wedding. It's hard to gauge whether your professional fee will be gouging for you or for them.

Many times - 9 out of 10, the couples are very nice and you really want to help them...

by the way, this is strictly for anyone who may be up to a good acquaintance,
but not friend. for example, you know them, and there's real potential, but you
don't even know what color their bathroom is.

but their hierarchical idea of the music at their weddings is below say, decorations at the table. Understandable, really, due to the scads of people who are relatives asked to perform. Relatives whom everyone in the family insists play some type of instrument, or who majored in music. Before going on to major in (bah-boom!) NOT music.

Yet there they are, at the however many hundreds of thousands of weddings cutting away at the Bach or Pachabell, Vibratoing through Ave Maria and The Lord's Prayer, just making it worse for us who can perform to a certain aesthetic.

I am all for people singing and playing. Really I am. And these self same people do not have this idea held as one of malice they just aren't informed. Truthfully though, when it comes to demeaning my living, I really have a shrinking tolerance for the low ball attitude, intended or not.
I have no problem giving my full price to those people and others whom I get by referral or through being a fan.

Let me just add, I've started putting in a caveat when I quote my price. If your ceremony by any chance goes wrong, it wont be by me. People talk about the weddings I sing for decades. I really do enjoy giving that WOW factor. I don't say that smugly, its through the experience of having countless people coming up to me about how I sang in so and so's wedding and how great it was, as well as some bride or groom coming up and still after (too many...sheesh has it been THAT Long??) years, they still have people coming up to THEM, saying theirs was the best wedding they'd ever seen.

And that was when I was cheap.

So now that I am not cheap, although if you compare some other high profile performers, I'd be on the less expensive side, I now have these problems of the one couple in ten ( you can lump wedding couples and party throwers together ) who just do not have the cash, sometimes to my surprise. AND I like them, and there's no way they would have the dough and no way I would charge them my full fee.
And to make matters worse, there are those who can't even make my lowest fee.

Sigh.

There's always trade, but I think it was Vonnegut who hated the idea of trade because you trade something you don't want to do for something you really don't want.

I like weddings, for the hope it brings to a couple and a community. I like attending weddings my friends are in, as a participant or as a guest. But really, I am just a typical guy who would rather not go. And yes, sometimes I'd rather sit on my duffer than sing in a wedding.

Personally, I don't want to be held responsible for witnessing and having to be responsible in some way for keeping the couple together years down the line. You know that thing where the reverend asks all the people at the wedding if you and me will help these two fulfil their vows in the many years to come?
Yeah, I take that seriously.

I mean, I'm not going to go home with them and make sure they conceive and I'm not going to do anything out of the norm, or anything, but I take that vow because I care. I want things to work and if I can help I will.

It's stupid I know, but for a while, I didn't really realize what the preacher was asking. I was just biding my time until I sang again.

So that's part of it. and then again, sometimes I'd rather sit on my duffer...especially for how much dough I'd be making. Remember the 9 in 10 people. Sometimes they actually pay the fee.
And I'm right there for them...both professionally and personally

.
But again, there's the couple just starting out, or out of sorts, or whatever.
...pause 10 seconds...

One loophole I have found is Military Weddings!! That's free!
*unless it's out of town and they need other instruments etc. *
Yep, it's just one of those things. I DO give a banana this country and those who are putting their lives in harm's way. If you read this and are a cop or a fire fighter, I'd consider that too.
It's a new policy and limited to my schedule, but I think it's important.

But here we are again at the couple. ugh. Such nice people. Maybe I could do a trade.

Laters

Eyes blazing

Burning the proverbial candle from four sides now.

I am now helping Jeffery Ruckman raise money for his Spoonbender Orchestra Series.

The group consists of a full Gamelan as well as a few other choice instuments. Personnel, top notch of course.

I guess I could list it all for you , you know.

Would that help?

I found a motherlode of books at Half-Price Books which I can fully endorse because one of the owneres of the company is a fan and buys my records...so I buy his books and talk about what a cool selection of super cheap new and repurposed books they have... for nothing more than making these things available... they also sell LP's.

The Complete Idiots Guide to Grant Writing, or some such falderall. Yes!

I am the owner of a small business, an arts corporation, not an organization, whose three year purpose has been to develop arts brands that had the capability to translate to both the arts community, as well as targeted demographics, in order for these brands to be matched to and sponsored by corporations and or investors.

A total profit oriented company completely removed from the charity scene.

Nice idea.

So what's an Opera singer doing in this world anyway? Yeah. good question.

I have two ultimate heros in my professional life.

Kim Witman of Wolf Trap Opera. She took a chance on me so many years ago, to let this green kid come sing in her company. Amazing. I know, I have mentioned her before...and I will do so again. She puts it out there every day. From seeing WTOC and what it is now compared to what it was ten years ago and that's just from my perspective I am beside myself with a need to at least work that hard to put something together that has such an impact in the world. The art form and the community are far, far richer for what she has been steely and supple enough to accomplish.

Obviously she has a cadre of people that create a lot of the magic there. Without self starting individuals, brilliant in their own capacity, Wolf Trap would be less than the sum of its parts.

Placido Domingo:

I don't know how many times I will envoke this name, but I have to say that I strive to work half as much as Domingo. And if that happened I would only be Artistic Director of one company, sing only what...>75 roles professionally and conduct twice a year.

These are the people whose work holds my feet to the fire every day.

I strive to be the best singer I can be.

I strive to be a leader who leads by example and follows as well as he leads.

I try to have an amazing attitude always...at least outwardly.

I strive to face my fears.

I strive to keep a loving relationship at home.

I strive to have as much fun as I can.

I strive to retain my objectively.

I work toward keeping abrast of my finances.

I fight to propel artistry as an equal to, at minimum, business.

I pain to remian vibrantly authentic.

I try to live like a human being.

and I try to keep my word at all times and not equivocate.

There are others and I'll fill you in on those heroes in due time but.. I'm nodding off

I don't get enough sleep. rehearsal tonight for the band.

must go and prep.

Thanks you two.

Off like bug spray.

NG

Bus Kid

My folks dropped me off at the bus station at a quarter to four. It was almost Christmas.
The thing I remember was the smell.

When I was a kid, my family went all over the place, not even three years before, we went to Mexico.
Mexico, where the smell of humanity coalesced into something that I didn’t at first dig, being I was a kid from Iowa small town. Where even the smells from the packing plants were far away. The grass was indeed sweet and summers had a timeless over bright green blue, as if those pictures you see now, from the era, were true depictions of life. It’s hard to differentiate these pictures from my true memories…especially if they were good…

So Mexico, pollution, people, food, sewage, trash, shit, flowers, sweat and dirt was the palate of this din of scent. Somehow though, as I look back…and even now, witness these smells from time to time, I think back and realize that it wasn’t all bad. Even though you knew part of it was the decay of our humanity.
I forgot to mention…the smell of death was there too.

So getting to the bus station in the then foreign downtown was no closer to adventure than a dog getting a free ride to the vet.

A most of it was due to the smell. B, I was going to my grandparents, who would have again, nothing for me to do and c. I turned around, looking for my parents… and felt like an adult for the first time. I can’t remember exactly if my folks were together or not then.

You know, it’s odd. I can define my childhood and youth through other people’s eyes, but to look back and make sense of the actions I took in direct response to the actions of others…I guess, I’m a little fuzzy.

But there I was. The Kansas City Greyhound station. A dark place. Dark tile floors, less than antiseptic. Fiberglass chairs, you know, the kind that are formed to look like they’re comfortable and then when you sit down, you realize that the joke is that the floor, the cold, especially dirty floor of the bus station, was more comfortable. And yet, to sit on the floor was to admit some National defeat, as if we were too civilized to park it on the floor like people in so many other populations…including México.

Cruel humor. TV’s at the bus station. Connected to the same pastel plastic ejector seats; like the joke of my Grandpa and Grandma bringing sugar free candy for Easter, like the joke of moving to the suburbs. Into a house with a pool, moving into a house with a pool in the suburbs in August. Until you find that your chores are to mix the nuclear compounds together to make that pool clean and fresh, and to vacuum that very same pool. The slow death of a ten year old. To make sure the giant crystal diamond, the toy of all toys, the culmination of all of your childhood dreams was to make sure you moved the aluminum pole slow enough so that the sand and dirt in the bottom was able to be sucked by the not powerful enough vacuum.

My dad always thought I was doing a half-assed job. But he didn’t realize the anguish of cleaning that thing…took hours. The joke of finding you old blind dog dead floating in the pool and the stench of the foul thing entering into my coke after we cleaned up from the burial. The smell of death pervades everything it touches.

Incidentally, about the dog. I’d found her time and again in that pool swimming for dear life. And I generally did not want her to fall in and took some precautions, like putting towels out around the pool, to act as a tactile reminder to the poor thing that she was getting close. For my part, I was too confident in my invention and stayed away too long. It didn’t take long. Really only fifteen minutes and she was gone. But can you imagine, this yellow death funk, glomming onto everything in that short of time. ..Especially my coca-cola.

The TV’s, these black pods bolted to the ends of the fiberglass ejector seat rows, were all the rage at the time. Some were bashed, magic markered and basically vandalized. But I tell you, they deserved it. Let me tell you, and I know bus stations haven’t really changed over the decades. Mostly, poor people go there. Maybe some bussers have money, but I’ll wager you, they are either seriously penny pinchers, or are out for an adventure… hah. But those four people are the minority and the underdog.

These black boxes they called TV’s were black and white mini TV’s that at one time, like simple function calculators with LCD screens, cost hundreds of dollars. So I, at the time, stuck there at the bus station, and being somewhat addicted to TV, was thinking, ah, sweet freedom.

We put our quarters in the slot, and turn the knob. Slowly the screen comes to life. A dot appears. After an eon, the dot turns into this hazy snow and static swells like a slow motion wave. Before you know it a double vision image of some rerun comes on. There’s no antennae, so reception is as-is.

Here’s how the bus station is. Of course sooner than later, the timer shuts off the tv and you think that purgatory is no worse because… well you never have enough coin to turn the thing back on…even though you’d rather just draw on the thing, or break it, out of contempt for those who thought it would be a good idea to bolt the little black licorice boxes onto the pastel death chairs. The Bus Station – Good and Plenty… Witnesseth your addiction and be tormented by it.

It was just at the time, I felt vulnerable.

I swore up and down to my folks that I was ready for it. And I was, if everything had worked out perfectly.

And again

Up all night. Coffee was tasty and I was kind of on a roll tonight.

I Studied a little more on Julie Taymor, how I love her. OMFG, Titus? and, well, all of her stuff?

The deal is, I am so inspired by her that I want all of my productions to look like hers. Which is totally reedikulus. Take THAT spell check.

And Grendel, written with her partner, shoobah shooba. I forgot his name for the moment...hold on...bingo, Elliot Goldenthal.

I was reading Kim Witman' post a little while back about new opera and New York Festival of Song and Volpone, please look em up, thought the Times has a great quote from Kim. Id' suggest reading the entire thing if you can find it.

How did it get to be six? uh thirty.

Whatever. All I am saying is that an artist should or should not steal from the best.

But if you do...don't make it too abvious, as tributes are, indeed cool, if you are into that, but be at least a little generative.

I am Wanting SO badly to be able to give my community both chamber stuff and grand opera. Sucks to be me, not giving either at the moment.

Ah, but Wait till September.

Hey, Did you hear the one about Bush ordering Special Forces into Iran? That helps.

Any of you clandestine boys or girls crossing over, be safe. We want you home, sipping Mojitos sometime.

Moi?

Allright folks.

Here's the level.

I am a Democrat.

My life as one of the boys in The American Tenors was all about playing the middle. Don't piss off the right with any of that liberal speak, you'll loose half your audience.

Well, I thank God for Barack Obama, for now I feel there is a general loosening of our red and blue state mentality. Regardless of what YOU may think about the guy, I think he is a good man, who has an open mind, but not so open as a conservative thinker may believe.

I believe that this guy, who has had to grow up in both worlds as a black man in a white man's world and as a white man in a black man's world (pardon the coloquialism...and the spelling) has given him something most people do not see. And this is perspective.

Perspective grants a person power. Allowing someone to see both sides of an argument and make an informed decision that can help both sides is great wealth.

Being a mediator dosn't mean one has to be a follower and always in the middle, it just means that you can empathize more easily. And in many respects, isn't that what people want? Just to be heard?

I've always been a democrat, as has my family for generations. For me it is simple. We have to help other people.

I am a closet Christian with a huge rebel streak. I think Jesus' words give us a lot of leeway to be humane to other people in a million different ways.

I don't believe in Dogma. I don't believe fighting solves anything, but I'll be damned if I don't stick up say, for my girl.

I am the last person to get into a fight...they used to call me Buddha in college, which was my associates way of saying I was the peacemaker.

But, as I have aged, my pacifisit, peacenik hippie attitude has basically left me. I am a big believer in giving a shit and if not dead, I'll keep on scrapping. And if it really is a fight, I cheat and I bite. Loco, mayng. Loco.

Right, so what's with the Christian bragging about fighting??

Well... when we get to that point, I'm protecting my life or my girl's. And it's just more animal than a rational thinking man's boxing match. A cornered animal on the defensive.

This gets to how to be effective on the stage.

What?

Sure.

Check it out. It's the ccombination of humility, humanity and animal that makes for stage credibility.

This goes far beyond just learning your words, music, rhythm, language. Keep in mind, a huge amount of preparation must go into combining these aspects of characterization so that when the time comes to lean into the maelstrom, you have an informed choice of going into it, you are living the piece and, most importantly, you can get back, at any time completeing any technical aspects of a role. as well as being completely embarrased by your actions at the end.

...especially when your travel agent reviews you as being "adequately mad".

One must think of it as controlled falling. And it must be so. Especially when you are doing scene-work with more than yourself on the stage. Having the grace and humility to work with your castmates and to come up with solutions to problems and different viewpoints is crucial to longevity.

A friend asked me recently as we were planning writing and producing a series of pieces, you have been seen a lot as yourself on the stage (in other words Starring). Do you feel comfortable as a different character, a person other than yourself?

I took this question in a lot of different ways.

The ultimate answer was yes, I do feel comfortable as a character other than my persona on stage as Nathan Granner.

But let me address this.

You know, there aren't many people who write about this, much less have the experience.

If you are a headliner and get cast above the show title, you don't have to feel bad. Just know, a title is a crazy thing. When you step out on that stage you are what you are. Some people are going to say one thing, like, "I just don't like stars being themselves in show". or another, such as, "You know, I really lost them in the role, amazing".

This could be on the same night.

You cannot control what people think of you. Regardless of how much preparation you did, or did not do, this will happen. Even in the smallest of audiences, not headlining, we are sbject to the whims of an audience who either does or does not get it.

To ameliorate this ambiguousness I just dig in. Sometimes I let my character become informed by not just the text, but also the context of where they are coming from.

You can prepare, prepare, prepare, read and study the habits of people. For instance, "Midieval Culture and Society", by David Herlily is one of my texts I can go to to find out why so and so is so upset by someone's insensitive statement, and why it warrants a fight to the death.

But at the end of it all. It isn't David up there on that stage, it is you. And more than likely, your and Ceasar's duty smells oddly, similarly shitty.

This is why classicl pieces from antiquity, as well as new classics from Kansas City can stand the test of time.

After all. Were we not all human once?

Don't answer that.
Till next time.
I am off to barbeque some poultry.

New blog for a new day

My other blog "Something something Bad day" is not defunct.
It's just that it doesn't really capture what I'm really trying to do here.

I'll add to it sometimes, but people want to see content... so Do it all do it all, is my attempt to convey my perspective on a micro scale.

I think I'm doing it more to help myself than for you all to get some elucidation, but edifying it will be, I'm sure.

I'm not making any promises as to grammar, content etc etc. I'm not going to promise to be nice either.

Those who know me, know me to be a pretty genial chap, and for the most part that's correct. But there are people who have no idea that they have acted in a way that just plain rubs me wrong. I don't think I'll call you out, but I may make a general pass at the archetype.

Still, that's not my point. My point is here, to get a grip on all of the ideas I have and furthermore, accomplish them.

A Generally positive viewpoint...but sometimes I get so frustrated...

Great, a frustrated artist, THAT'S all we need?
Good Luck.