27.12.08

Machine perfect

Roasting Plant Coffee Company

81 Orchard St, New York, NY 10002

Reviewed by Matt 'Dirty Shame' G.

Shout out to the bangers and the hoes who hang at the plant. This place smells like coffee and has light wood fixtures all over, making for a light airy feeling in the spacious confines.


The stupid machine makes non-folger-like coffee, much to my chagrin, as I like to drink water that has the consistency of a depression era cafeteria toilet. I used my credit card which allowed me to be charged less for a "regular" cup of joe.

The clerk told me not to order the wheatgrass, which I did. It tasted like peas meshed with moldy corn.

And the smoothies, when I came back, as I had the $&@@ tasting yerba blueberry poi smoothie (which I was leery of as I've HAD poi) was rank amateur... At best.

If I had liked any of these things I probably would have at least four and half starred, so tough sh#t you philistines.

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